Tweets123

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia; I think it was on a Sunday.

Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, & I aim to keep it.

My worst day at golf still beat.

I didn’t fall. The floor just needed a hug.

What would men be without women?

The only thing worse than the one that got away is the one that won’t go away.

Let us all take a moment, and be thankful that spiders can’t fly.

If you ever feel sad, just remember that somewhere in the world, there’s a fat kid dropping his ice-cream.

My Mothers MENU had only two items: 1: Eat it or 2: Leave it.

The only thing good that can possibly be said about Monday is that it is only four days away from Friday.

Boy: I’m searching for The Most Beautiful Girl..!! Girl: Look I Came For You..!! Boy: That’s Nice! Now Help Me To Find Her..!!

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

I never make d same mistake twice. 3 times, mayb 4, but never twice.

I don’t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

Justice is always violent to the party offending, for every man is innocent in his own eyes.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.